I came out as a lesbian in 1979, at the age of 24. A ‘tomboy’ as a child who called myself, ‘John’, my teens were marked by two breakdowns, aged 12 and 16, as I struggled with puberty. I got married at 19 to a man who was like a brother to me, but then, having fallen in love with a woman, I realised that I had to embrace my sexual orientation.

When I came out, I joined the collective of ‘Lesbian Line’, a phone service for lesbians, and became actively engaged in Lesbian Feminism and the Women’s Liberation Movement. In January 1982, feeling marginalised as a Jew in the predominantly WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) WLM, I became involved, together with other Jewish feminists, including lesbians, in founding a Jewish feminist movement in Britain. This development soon led to the creation of two Jewish lesbian groups in London, based in West London and North East London, respectively. I became a member of the West London group.

Keen to be in engaged in communal transformation, when I applied to Leo Baeck College to train to be a rabbi at the beginning of 1984, my principal motivation was my desire to contribute to the task of making Jewish life more egalitarian and inclusive. It proved an extremely bumpy road, but after instigating discussion of same-sex marriage in the Jewish community in 1995, and experiencing the hideous impact of homophobia at first hand, I served on a Working Party set up by Liberal Judaism in 2000, which endorsed an inclusion policy in 2002. In December 2005, we published Covenant of Love, a liturgy for same-sex ceremonies to coincide with the Civil Partnership Act coming into force. Subsequently, LJ went on to champion the Equal Marriage campaign.

In December 2000, shortly after the Working Party was set up, I started to work as rabbi of Brighton and Hove Progressive Synagogue. Initially, there was some opposition to my appointment, and progress was slow. However, following homophobia training, the Council of the synagogue endorsed unanimously the LJ inclusion policy, and when my partner and I celebrated our marriage at the synagogue in March 2006, half the congregation turned up.

The synagogue’s continuing commitment to LGBTQ+ inclusion is reflected in our rebuilt congregational home, which was reopened and rededicated in December 2015 on the Shabbat (Sabbath) of Chanukkah, and also in other tangible ways, including: involvement in Trans Pride; an annual eve of Brighton Pride Shabbat celebration; the provision of non-binary B’Mitzvah for 13-year-olds, alongside the traditional Bar Mitzvah (for boys) and Bat Mitzvah (for girls); the invitation for individuals to craft their own ‘transition’ ceremonies; and Queer Havdalah, which brings LGBTQ+ people and allies together on Saturday nights to conclude Shabbat.

By the time I retired as rabbi of the congregation at the end of April 2021, and was honoured with the title of ‘Emeritus Rabbi’, the synagogue had become a beacon of LGBTQ+ inclusion.